Chapter 4.5
This chapter was translated by yuugs and proofread by kittensparkles, yuugs, and dei-hime!
The day was January 1st: New Year's Day.
Fortunately, it was a clear, beautiful day.
I woke up early, the first sunrise of the year glittering in the eastern sky.
As per our promise, I left my house early in the morning to meet Harada-sensei at the shrine…
As I fought against the flow of people heading toward the front of the shrine, I muttered quietly to myself.
Chizuru Yukimura: "After today another new year will begin, huh..."
Just as quickly as winter had ended, spring had begun. I would only be a first-year at Hakuo Academy for three more months.
Sanosuke Harada: "Sure enough, it’s the start of a new year. It's not a bad time to make some new resolutions. Yukimura, what'd you pray for earlier?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Oh, stuff about school life for this upcoming year, and various things for my classmates," I opened up about my feelings, one by one. "At first, some of my classmates kept their distance from me because I'm a girl, but… Everyone opened up to me little by little, and nowadays I think I've made a lot of friends."
Sanosuke Harada: "I don't mean to brag, but that's because every guy in my class is so nice," Harada-sensei's heartfelt agreement and accompanying smile filled my chest with a pleasant warmth.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Of course, you're including yourself in that 'every guy,' right?"
Sanosuke Harada: "Me?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes. I think we're only the classmates that we are because you're our homeroom teacher."
Harada-sensei was always putting his students first. And, although he acted nonchalant about it, he was always worrying about and watching over us.
Chizuru Yukimura: "So, that's why I… I want to be in your class again this coming year, Harada-sensei."
Since Christmas had ended, I had come to feel more and more strongly about that. If I had some other homeroom teacher, I don't think it'd ever feel quite right to me.
He let out a slight sigh at my words.
Sanosuke Harada: "You really know how to make a teacher feel appreciated. Well, you're in luck. The truth is that the classes from this year haven't been shuffled around for next year. Your homeroom teacher should be the same, too… So I might be able to teach your homeroom again this year."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Really!? That would make me so happy...!"
Sanosuke Harada: "Haha, is it really something worth getting that excited over?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Of course. After all, it means I can spend another year together with you."
Sanosuke Harada: "......"
I could stay with him for another year. Just thinking about that made my chest feel warm. He took in how happy I was in silence, and then muttered something under his breath.
Sanosuke Harada: "...A guy might get the wrong idea if you say something like that with such a happy look on your face."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Hm...?"
Sanosuke Harada: "Nah, it's nothing." Harada-sensei shot me his usual smile. I stared back at him in confusion. He went on, "But still, wow. It feels like it's too early to be talking about the new school year. I swear... last year really flew by way too fast."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes. Thinking back on it, I spent a lot of major school events with you, Harada-sensei. For example...the first midterm tests were very memorable."
Sanosuke Harada: "Our penalties are harsh. That's why new students always panic so much."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes. I was so, so nervous that I would score badly― But then you snuck me some chocolate. I still remember that like it was yesterday. Thank you so much for that."
Sanosuke Harada "It wasn't something you really need to thank me for. You were so nervous. It was just a little good-luck charm to calm you down and bring out your true abilities." Harada-sensei smiled wryly as he spoke, but…
Although I felt my cheeks grow slightly warm, I schooled my mouth into a thin, disapproving line.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Maybe it was just a little good-luck charm to you, but it was very effective for me. ...Ever since that day, whenever I eat chocolate I can't help but think of you..."
Sanosuke Harada: "......"
Chizuru Yukimura: "A-Anyway! I was able to give that test my all, and I think I have you to thank for that." Although I was embarrassed, I tried to express how grateful I was once again. He gave me a genuine smile.
Sanosuke Harada: "Don't sell yourself short. All I did was give you a little push to get you started. Just like I said earlier, you studied your butt off for those tests. So any good results you got were all you."
After I thanked him for the sentiment, I changed the subject.
Chizuru Yukimura: "We all went to the pool together during summer vacation, too. I was surprised that all of the teachers were there as well, but… It made me very happy to run into you there, Harada-sensei."
Sanosuke Harada: "Ahh, you're talking about that one time, right? Everyone was fighting over the SSS pairs, so I ended up speaking up..." Harada-sensei paused for a moment, and turned a searching gaze at me. "...Should I not have stuck my nose in, that time?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "No, not at all! You really saved me."
Back then… Because he had called out to me, I was able to work up the courage to ask him to pair up with me. I felt as though those casual comments of his always ended up leading me down the right path...
Sanosuke Harada: "Well, I had fun playing the game, too. Not to mention, we landed the grand prize."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Oh, you mean... The victory feast for two at the poolside bar? When you ordered that wonderful drink for me back then, I was very happy."
Sanosuke Harada: "Ahh, the Cinderella, right? There are a ton of other non-alcoholic cocktails like that. If another chance comes around, I'll tell you all about them."
Chizuru Yukimura: "...Thanks!" In that moment I was made starkly aware: It wasn't like he couldn't drink alcoholーhe was an adult. All the more frustrating was that it was precisely because I was still a child that I wasn’t more self-aware.
Sanosuke Harada: "Let's hang out with everyone again this year."
Chizuru Yukimura: "I-I agree! I want to go hang out with them all again!"
Sanosuke Harada: "Of course, when you become an adult, I'll teach you about real cocktails, too. Look forward to it."
Chizuru Yukimura: "When I become an adult..." By the time I was old enough to drink, I will have graduated from Hakuo Academy... ...Which meant that Harada-sensei wouldn't be my teacher anymore. But, even so, what he had just said made me feel like our relationship would continue, even after my graduation.
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"I rushed to find another topic, trying to hide the dreamy look that probably showed on my face. "Even during the cultural festival, I felt like you had to help me out from beginning to end."
Sanosuke Harada: "That's not true. I may have said a thing or two as your teacher, but I really didn't lift a finger to help the whole time. All the results, winning the contest… All that stuff was the fruit of your guys' labor."
There was such pride in his words and on his face. I felt myself relax unconsciously.
Chizuru Yukimura: "But..."
When I thought back on the events of the festival, there was one thing that I still felt guilty about. When I was injured, I caused a lot of trouble not just for Harada-sensei, but for everyone else as well.
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Sanosuke Harada: "...Is the thing you're worrying about...when you got hurt? Or when I carried you, maybe?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "B-Both...!"
Sanosuke Harada: "Well, there was nothing else for it." He scratched his cheek with a conflicted, dry smile.
Chizuru Yukimura: "But afterwards, you told me it was alright to rely on you, too. Hearing that made me incredibly happy."
Sanosuke Harada: "Well, that was a given. I'm your homeroom teacher, after all." He muttered that quietly, his expression seeming almost...lonely. But it quickly returned to his usual expression.
Chizuru Yukimura: "A lot of things ended up happening, but it became a very good memory for me."
Sanosuke Harada: "I'm glad. ...But you know, there’s still another cultural festival next year. Give it your all again, alright?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes, sir!"
We reached a natural lull in our conversation.
Sanosuke Harada: "......"
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
The two of us walked peacefully, in stark contrast with the boisterous crowd around us. Harada-sensei was the first one to break the silence.
Sanosuke Harada: "Even so, walking together with you like this― Makes it feel like it's still last year. Feels a little odd, in a way."
Chizuru Yukimura: "You're right..." I didn't have to think about what he said: I knew what he meant instantly. In that moment, I was certain that Harada-sensei and I were thinking the same thing. "A week has already passed since Christmas, but it doesn't really feel like it. Somehow I feel like the things from that night only happened yesterday."
Thinking back on my memories with him, I knew that I would never forget that night.
Chizuru Yukimura: "You said that you would give me a present again next year back then, but… What kind of thing are you planning on? I'm sort of curious now."
Sanosuke Harada: "You're surprisingly impatient. Shall I give you a hint?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "...... ...No, you’d really better not. For this sort of thing, I get the feeling that learning what it is on Christmas day has its own special meaning."
Sanosuke Harada: "...You might be right." After nodding, he looked at me intently, almost as if he were appraising me, his eyes unreadable. "In that case, that means we'll be spending Christmas together again this year. You okay with that?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes!"
Sanosuke Harada: "...Good grief."
I just couldn't lie about my feelings when it came to spending time with Harada-sensei. He gave a wry smile at my enthusiastic response, which only caused me to smile even more widely.
Sanosuke Harada: "Well, it's about time we headed home, for today at least."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Oh..."
What he said made me remember. We'd finished paying our respects for the New Year, meaning we fulfilled the promise we made on Christmas. All that was left now was to go back home. Honestly, I wanted to keep talking with him like this forever, but...
Sanosuke Harada "Yukimura, want me to walk you home?"
Harada-sensei called out to me as my pace unconsciously slowed down. I said…
[Yes, please]
[I'll go home alone]
Chizuru Yukimura: "Well...I'm sorry to bother you like this, but I'd like that, please." Even though the time would come that we would have to part ways, I wanted to talk with him for as long as I possibly could.
Sanosuke Harada: "......" When I agreed, Harada-sensei gazed fixedly at my face, a smile of satisfaction on his.
Chizuru Yukimura: "W-What is it?"
Sanosuke Harada: "Nothing important." He smiled, his expression kind.
Sanosuke Harada: "...You were kind of impressive, there. I thought, ‘You’ve really changed, too.’"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Eh...?"
Sanosuke Harada: "Right when you first came to Hakuo Academy you were so determined to make it, even in such a male-dominated place, that you were always so stiff and reserved. It makes me happy to think you can naturally rely on me now, given how formal you used to be."
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
He seemed very pleased with how much I had changed, and was wearing a very teacher-esque expression. I wonder why… It stung, just a little bit.
Sanosuke Harada: "What's wrong?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "...It's, um. I was just, um, a little surprised that you're happy about that, I guess..." I spoke haltingly, carefully choosing my words. Harada-sensei laughed cheerfully.
Sanosuke Harada: "What are you saying? Isn't it only natural that a teacher would be happy when his students grow up?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Only natural for a teacher. Because I had spent Christmas and New Year's with him… Before I knew it, I may have forgotten exactly what kind of relationship we had. In the end, our relationship was only that of student and teacher.
I had noticed one more thing, too. At some point, I had begun thinking that just being a teacher and a student who got on well wasn't enough. And I had begun to wish that, somehow, I would be able to cross that invisible line dividing us…
Sanosuke Harada: "Now that I think about it..." Without breaking his stride, Harada-sensei spoke quietly, almost muttering. "I feel like we really spent a lot of time together over the last year. Whether I picture regular scenes from class time or the school grounds. Even outside of big events like the Culture Festival... I feel like you’re just always there."
He stared at me, the look in his eyes incredibly gentle. Far more tender than one would normally give someone they saw only as a student. At least, that was what I thought, but it was possible I was just being conceited. Yet, maybe...
Chizuru Yukimura: "...I…I feel the same way. Like you’re always there, wherever I am."
Sanosuke Harada: "...I see."
I wondered how deeply he was looking at me with that tenderness. Like he wasn't just looking at me as a student, but seeing me as an individual. Even if he didn't see it that way, I was beginning to think that maybe, all this time― Maybe I had stopped thinking of Harada-sensei only as my homeroom teacher at some point, and started thinking of him in a different way entirely…
As we walked together, we found ourselves in an alley in a residential neighborhood. Chatting with Harada-sensei had been so much fun… I'd walked slower and slower without meaning to.
Had he noticed? Or had he not? Either way, he didn't say anything… He simply matched my pace, walking slowly beside me.
Sanosuke Harada: "Today was fun. See you later, Yukimura."
But even so, the end of our time together came much too soon. As he gave me a grin and turned to leave, I found myself calling out to him.
Chizuru Yukimura: "U-Um!"
Sanosuke Harada: "Hm? What's wrong?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Oh... Ummm… When is the winter break homework due, exactly...?"
Sanosuke Harada: "It's due the day after the opening ceremony. Make sure to remember, alright? Well then, goodbye for real. I'll see you when the new semester―"
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Sanosuke Harada: ...? He saw that I had fallen silent, and cut himself off. And then―as if he had noticed something― he spoke up, after a hesitation: "...By the way, your dad is away from home right now, right? Is he not coming back for New Year's?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "That's right. It seems that some of his patients on the island are not in good health… I contacted Dad recently to ask him if I could go with you to the shrine."
Sanosuke Harada: "I see..." He nodded in understanding, and then grinned broadly. "All right, then. Since I'm here already, why don't the two of us go out today?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Eh!?"
Sanosuke Harada: "Anywhere is fine. If there's somewhere you want to go, just say so."
I responded to his invitation with...
[I want to go to the school]
[I want to go somewhere far away]
Chizuru Yukimura: "...I want to go...somewhere far away."
I suddenly found those words spilling out from my lips. 'Far away' was pretty vague. Even I didn't know why I'd said that. Maybe...I had thought that the farther we went, the more time I could spend with him? Or… Maybe I was unconsciously looking for a place somewhere. Somewhere far off. Far enough that we could escape our roles as 'teacher' and 'student'...
Sanosuke Harada: "Alright, you got it."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Wha―...!?"
He set off walking after his swift reply, and I hurried to follow after him…
He led me to the square in front of the train station.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Why did we come here...?"
Harada-sensei gave me a smile as I muttered to myself in confusion, and said:
Sanosuke Harada: "Obviously if we're going somewhere seriously far away, it'd be faster to take the train, yeah?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
I struggled to control the sudden, rapid beating of my heart at his words. I suddenly regretted recklessly blurting out what I had a little bit, in hindsight…
In the end, Harada-sensei headed off towards the ticket machine without telling me where we were going. As the train jostled down the tracks, he and I went on to talk about various things. Stuff like...'I was up until late last night doing some deep cleaning. Because of that, I overslept and missed the first sunrise of the new year.' I had so much fun, listening to him speak… More than anything, it felt comfortable and easy.
And then... at long last we arrived: it was the beach.
I was shocked. Harada-sensei gave me a smile and told me, 'When you said that you wanted to go someplace far away, I knew it really had to be the beach. Can't take you across the sea just yet, though.'
We walked along the shore together, a brisk winter wind blowing in from the ocean. The pleasant chill cleared my head, and I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
And then, on our way back from the beach...
Our little trip had put me at ease. Maybe that was why I began to nod off amidst the gentle rocking of the train. I was just about to surrender to my sleepiness…
(CG get!°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°)
Sanosuke Harada: "Yukimura? ...You asleep?"
I vaguely heard someone's voice...
Chizuru Yukimura: "...Mmm..."
I was so sleepy. I couldn't think...
Sanosuke Harada: "Yukimura?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Sanosuke Harada: "...... How do I put it… You're still just a kid. You shouldn't just fall asleep against a guy. It makes you seem sort of defenseless......."
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Sanosuke Harada: "...That's all I can say, huh? From time to time, nowadays, I feel like I'm about to forget that you're still a kid. This morning… when you said you wanted to be in my class again this year, I felt like that. You looked so mature when you said it, it made my head hurt."
The person speaking sounded like they were smiling. Suddenly, I felt the heat of someone's hand on mine. Those large palms wrapped tenderly around my chilled ones.
Sanosuke Harada: "...Back then I said something along the lines of, 'You're gonna give me the wrong idea,' but… That's not really true. I'm in too deep. I'm just pretending not to understand. Even still, when I'm around you… I just end up doing things that cross the line I've drawn so carefully between us without thinking, you know? ...Try and understand how much trouble this is for your teacher...Chizuru."
Sanosuke Harada "If you were an adult, I wouldn't be waiting so long..."
Chizuru Yukimura: "......"
Sanosuke Harada: "Haah… This has gotta be the first time I've been so weak for a woman."
Sanosuke Harada: "Did you sleep well, Yukimura? I tried talking to you a bunch of times, but you just wouldn't wake up."
Chizuru Yukimura: "...I'm really, really sorry..."
Even if I did get up early this morning to go to the shrine, I can't believe I fell asleep against Harada-sensei's shoulder without even asking...! I was so embarrassed. I wished there was a hole I could crawl into and disappear… I was blushing furiously, but he didn't seem to care. He gave a soft laugh.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Thank you so much for coming out with me today."
Sanosuke Harada: "There's no need for that. I like to take little trips like this, too. Sometimes it's nice to go somewhere far. Plus, I wanted to show you a different world than the one we’re usually in."
Chizuru Yukimura: "......" If I was being honest, I had never traveled that far outside of the city before. "I never thought that it would be so easy to travel so far...before today, that is."
Sanosuke Harada: "Yeah. But, you must be worn out from the long trip, right? I know riding the train always makes my shoulders all stiff."
Chizuru Yukimura: "W-Well..." But if I wasn't tired, then the main reason was because I had borrowed his shoulder to doze on...!
Sanosuke Harada: "Looks like it's already sunset. We should hurry and get you home." He added, 'I'll definitely walk you home this time' with a smile...
Nightfall came early, as it always does in winter. By the time we reached my house, it was pitch black outside.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Harada-sensei. Really, truly, thank you so much for today," I thanked him, bowing deeply.
Sanosuke Harada: "......" He stared unblinkingly at me, looking as if he had something he wanted to say.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Um...?"
When I tilted my head, Harada-sensei smiled, as if he were trying to dodge any questions.
Sanosuke Harada: "It's nothing. ...I'll see you again in the classroom after the break and the opening ceremony."
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes."
He smiled at me and I nodded in agreement, but I somehow felt a little bit lonely as I looked back at him.
Sanosuke Harada: "......"
But, even though we had already exchanged our farewells, Harada-sensei showed no signs at all of getting ready to leave.
Chizuru Yukimura: "...Sir?"
When I blinked in confusion, he spoke as if what he was doing was completely natural.
Sanosuke Harada: "I'll head home after I make sure you get inside safely. Isn't it kind of lonely to just watch
someone as they walk away?"
Chizuru Yukimura: "Yes… Good night, Harada-sensei."
Sanosuke Harada: "Yeah, night."
Being seen off by the teacher's smile, I put my hand on the front door to my house. Somehow, his kindness made me feel really warm and fuzzy inside. Even though I was alone in my home, I had a feeling that I would be able to forget my loneliness and sleep soundly.
Then, that night…
As usual, after I finished having dinner alone, I went upstairs to my room. A New Year's program was playing on TV, but I just couldn't bring myself to watch it… In my daze, I stared blankly out my window.
Chizuru Yukimura: "Hehe..."
The events that happened today replayed in my head, making me almost giddy. The night of New Year's Day drew to a close as I dwelled on those memories.